It all ended that way...
I was never sure how they feel...
I knew that everytime... once my heart was hurt, the wound will stay till i die...
sad... but i've always find ways to distract myself... i will always look happy and crazy... coz that's the only reason i'm holdin to my life... to make others happy...
when the night falls... the silence will visit me with the sorrow... and all makes no sense to me...
why on earth am i livin for...
more than 12 months indeed... it still feels like yesterday... the wound is healing... but the scar will be there... i miss u... e secure feeling... with someone to trust... someone to share... someone to hold... someone to love... i'm sorry those days came to end... i'm sorry if i was such a jerk... time flies by... other people came in n out of my life... more wounds were carved... but u are still the one and only one... i'm glad i've ever meet u... the short period of time were the best in my life... but i learnt that life goes on... i hope we can keep the memories neatly in our diary... for us to tell our grandchildren... let it be a beautiful story with a beautiful ending... let start a new story... a better one...
wad's happenin now joe?! u remembered her... and suddenly you missed her...
... it's hurting to find out that she hasnt really moved on... after more than a year... a year of total no contact... it was hard for me at first... but i distracted myself with stuff that were rather ungood... i remembered how i fell... how painful it was to have no one to hold on to... to have to resort to smoking, screaming in the middle of the night, locking myself in a room and sobbing like a dog, started self mutilation, trying to create a new personality... it was very hard... and sometimes... i'll look down from the edge of a high building... wondering how easy to end all my sorrow... even saw myself down there before... still... bloody... terribly in mess... yeah...
and for those who came into my life and screw it up... i guess there's no plastic surgery to heal the scar in my heart... i'm not a dog... you can hit a dog hard, starve it close to death... and it will still lick your face, follow you and play with you... i'm not a dog.. so u can stop going around and treatin me like a dog...
sigh...
okay...
enaf of this shit...
update of how lucky joe's doin these days :)
yep... 2 common test papers are out and the other 2 are super predictable...
yep... i take 3 science and maths and gp...
chem... out of 60 marks, i did 0 marks confidently... slept thru one third of the paper... so... wad grade do u think i'm gonna get?
bio... khoo pek har told me that it'll be better if i leave the answer sheet blank, coz it showed her that i dunno ANY single shit about bio...
phyisics... haha... heard that 60% of e cohort fails... what else can i get... got it back... 31% :) that's an F!!!
maths... this is funny... super funny... FOFF will be a laughable CT result... how bout AFFF... haha... funny... funny... i think i'd better start muggin for my sciences... i'm a science student that fails all my science subjects... haha...
hmx... at e same time... i did something to my fridays... haha... it's supposed to be e free-est day in e week.. i end class at 120... dunno wad got into me... i joined innovation n enterprise club w meetings on fri at 430... and i joined interact club with tutoring scheme on fri at 230 at bukit batok... haha... this is fun...rush here rush there... :)
i want to... start mugging... cant lose the momentum... haha
Jia you year2s... mug hard and get 4As!!!!
year1s... enjoy ur 1st year... but dun slack... it's hell for me to catch up... it'll be hell for u to catch up i guess...
yep...
orh... help... shall i get a new racket again? since i broke it... haha... i've been playin w funny rackets lately... dunno whose... not nice :S 0rh... peck ying!!! i love her racket's smell!!! (ntg to do w her... it's e racket)... it's v happy-ing to see that a lot of y1s have passion in playin badminton... but it's v sad-ing also... coz most of the time i'll be sitting waitin coz they will play and no more space... bleagh... shall i buy racket?! help!!!
tags
thomas- haha... u can use it to anyone u want... if it's successful, tell em i taught u... if it's not... go n die...
andre- i chilled... u chill also yeah... we dun share... we juz help each other... no competition okay!
sihui-thanks captain :) take care and all the best for nationals yeah! oh... be prepared to hear me shoutin screamin jumpin rolling for u on e finishin line yeah:) dun be shocked :)
brentz-BoO! you stop playin badminton ar? :(
van- haha... u heard me slacking... u saw me slacking... u noe e kinda results i'll get... dun do wad i do :p
liyan- all the best for nationals :) congrats for 3rd placing for SRC :) softball KILLS!
khad- take care of yourself... it's great to see how mobile you are now :)
lauren*-haha... wazzap!
milomel-i wanna play softball again... let's play and watch more cables broken... (^.^*) and... two of you have different surname lahs... i dumb is it?!