fucked up...
failed 2 exams for my first exams in NUS...
missed tons of online assignments... and got 0 for it...
8 lectures behind for maths 1102 and physics 1141 and physics 1142...
5 chaps behind for maths 1101
damn fucking lost in computing...
what's all this leading to man?
before i even realise it...
my fingers almost not enough to count my ccas...
was it 7 or 8 or 9 ccas again?
for what fuck?
to get Fs on ur transcript?
to get lousy shitty job when i graduate?
fuck this man...
i'm gonna set this straight now, once n for all...
i am not gonna let CCA hold me back...
gonna take the step...
first, quit TQ pub
try to catch up, still cannot,
quit icy cg... still cannot
stop all fun, no more movie, no shopping, no playing cards, no surfing net, ban from msn for life...
still cannot...
quit choir...
still cannot, fuck ur life upside down, then quit billiard...
still cannot, cry hard and bite nails, then quit css...
still cannot, quit pvc...
still cannot, quit tuition...
still cannot, quit scmc bizcomm...
still cannot, quit nussu bizcomm...
still cannot, quit goin mass of css...
still cannot, quit badminton...
still cannot, guess no choice...
jump off building...
or donate organ or whatever more noble one...
fuck shit..
how did u end up this way man?
heard this line like millions of times these few days
them "which secondary school are you from? which jc are you from?"
me "raffles institution, then national junior college"
them "wah, so smart"
me "no lar, maybe i was, but not anymore for sure"
how true man
fuck shit...
get ur smart ass back to ur head...
fuck man...
next exams all lurking around e corner...
u noe how tough it is not?
4 am wanna sleep also cannot
wanna do work also cannot..
aiyah...
gonna learn the right way to do e right things..
haha...
no shit...
cant believe i'm in such a deep shit...
lol...
bitches are bitches...
bastards are bastards...
i am neither...
why am i alone in this shit man?
fuck shit..
i guess i've to join osama n beg him to gimme a bomb...
then run into whereever bitches and bastards are..
and blow myself up
tgt w em..
ahha...
got bad feeling it'll juz go off and i'll scatter..
with them staring at me
and
tick tock tick tock
few secs later, life moves on for them...
oh guess wad
well..
i'm scattered liao
takes time to gather back...
and bet cant find all e pieces back...
bet more on the scars... wont look the same...
fuck shit
almost fainted today lar
workshop...
gimme funny recollection of my youth days..
fuck shit wad u talkin about?
youth is until 35 years old...
oh well...
i'm only 20, why do i not feel youthful?
is it a sign i should juz jump off?
ahah..
well...
no need worry man..
i have ppl to live for now
and i dun wanna disappoint them,..
coz i noe they care and they dun wan me to die
haha...
yea...
thanks...
oh...
sorry for all e vulgarities...
happy birthday...
mum...